How to Buy The "Perfect" Wedding Dress

How to Buy The "Perfect" Wedding Dress

Buying your wedding dress is one of the most important parts of wedding planning. Why? Because your dress will be the centerpiece of the wedding. Still, there's no need to stress out about dress shopping or to turn into a roaring Bridezilla if a dress doesn't fit right. The right dress is out there waiting for you, and these simple steps will help you to find it. Good luck and, more importantly, have fun!
Step 1: Getting Started

Buy a dress that suits your wedding budget, location and season. (Creative Commons photo by Jennifer Stone)
Before you shop for your wedding dress, gather the information and tools that you will need. Here are some suggestions:
Subscribe to Bridal Magazines
Not only will this give you plenty of time to browse through each month's wedding fashion tips (and daydream about how to implement them), but it will also save you money on newsstand prices. Some popular bridal magazines are:
Brides
Bridal Guide
Martha Stewart Weddings
Modern Bride


Register for Online Wedding Sites
Sign up for free online memberships to wedding planning sites like The Knot, Brides.com and WeddingChannel.com, which provide shopping tips and searchable wedding dress galleries.
Consult Your Wedding Plan
Before you begin shopping for a wedding dress, you should already have made the following wedding planning decisions:


Set the Date:
How Long Do You Have to Plan?
The length of your engagement dictates your shopping schedule. Chances are good that you'll spend a lot of time searching for your dress and then even more waiting on delivery and alterations. So, make time management a priority.
The Knot has a helpful gown-buying checklist that offers a step-by-step shopping plan. The check-list focuses on brides who have nine months to a year to shop, but its tips are helpful even for those on a tighter schedule.
Should You Dress Seasonally?
If you're having a winter wedding, for example, wear a sleeved gown made from heavy material.
Created a Wedding Budget: How Much Do you Have to Spend?
It is recommended that you spend about 10% of your total wedding budget on the dress.
Typically, wedding dresses cost between $500 and $6000. Don't worry if you're on a tighter budget, though; there are plenty of ways to find the perfect dress at the right price.
Picked a Location: What Type of Dress Should You Wear?
The setting can determine what type of bridal wear will be appropriate and comfortable; knowing you're planning a tropical beach wedding influences your dress options.


Step 2: Consult Your Feelings
Before you shop for your wedding dress, travel forward in time to think about how you will want to feel at your wedding. This will save time and energy, allowing you to focus on styles that suit your mood and tastes.
What's Your Fantasy?
Is it a fairy tale wedding and you're wearing a long, classic dress with a veil and a train?
Is it a simple, beach ceremony and you're barefoot in a short dress with flowers in your hair?
Is it a modern wedding with simple, elegant decor and you're wearing a sharp dress with no frills?
How Do You Normally Dress?
If you don't wear off-the-shoulder dresses, you probably won't want a wedding dress in that style.
If you like to wear short dresses, don't weigh yourself down with a long train.
If you're a glamour girl on the street, kick your ceremony up a notch with couture style.
If, like Ellen DeGeneres or Diane Keaton, you're the type of woman who wears pants a lot, be true to yourself and wear a white pant suit.


Step 3: Do Your Research

Research will help you to skip through the maze of dresses, allowing you to quickly find the right fit at the right price. (Creative Commons photo by Tom)
Before you start shopping, you need to know a few basic things about cost, design and wedding fashion shop talk. This will help you to understand what wedding dress styles suit your body type and to successfully communicate with bridal retailers:
Wedding Dress Styles
There are five basic wedding dress styles. Some designers and boutiques will call them by different names or have variations on the cut, but the basic five are:
A-Line or Princess: Fitted in the body, then flows out toward the ground.
Ball Gown: Fitted in the body with a full skirt.
Mermaid: Contours the body from the chest to knee, then flows to hem.
Sheath or Column: Straight, form-fitted from the shoulders to the hem.
Empire: Raised waist line sits below the bust. Dress flows down to hem.
Dress Style and Body Type
Different dress styles suit different body types.
A sheath dress, which hugs every curve, would not flatter a full-figured woman.
A ballgown, which bells at the bottom, might overwhelm a petite woman's figure.
Check out this handy Custom Fit Tool, which matches dress styles to body types.
For more details on matching body type to dress style, check out tips from Beaucoup.
Click on the "next page" text beneath each section to move to the next page.
Neckline Styles
The are many different neckline styles. Some will flatter your physique and others will not.
Women with broad shoulders or large arms should wear a portrait neckline, not off-the-shoulder.
A strapless neckline does not suit small-breasted women, but the jewel or "t-shirt" cut is ideal.
The Fabric
There are several different types of fabric. A general knowledge of fabric and its pricing will help you to understand the value of dresses you are considering.
Wedding Dress Prices
Now that you know the basics about wedding dress styles and have given some thought to what dresses will look best on you, it's time to think about finding dresses in your price range.
The Knot shows wedding dress prices in its online gallery.
When calculating your wedding dress price, factor in tax, shipping and alteration expenses.
Don't forget to budget for shoes and accessories such as veils, tiaras, jewelry and gloves.
Your wedding is a cherished occasion, so why waste your time longing for a hand-beaded Vera Wang dress with ruched lace trim that you can't have? Find designers and retailers within your price range and stick to them.
View Online Wedding Dress Galleries
Many wedding websites offer online wedding dress galleries, where you can view tens of designers and retailers' current bridal lines. Before you set foot in a bridal shop (where salespeople tend to hurry and pressure you) it's a great idea to spend time researching styles and designers in your price range. This will save you time and money. Click below to view these sites' online galleries:
Brides.com
The Knot
WeddingChannel.com
Onewed.com
Mary's Bridal
David's Bridal
Note: Does your fiancé have a favorite dress or look for you? Give it a moment's thought. It's a good idea to look great for your partner on the day that you unite your lives forever.



Step 4: Visit Local Boutiques to Try Dresses On

Shopping for a wedding dress is fun if you're prepared. (Creative Commons photo by _e.t)
You've done your homework. You know how to talk the talk, you have a good idea about what kind of dress you want and you've got a price range. Now, you're ready to visit the bridal boutiques.
Find Great Bridal Shops
Look up local bridal shops, chain stores and outlets in a directory.
Ask friends what bridal shops they recommend.
Call bridal shops to ask what lines and price ranges they carry.
Visit shops for 15-20 minutes to get a feel for the store.
Make appointments with salespeople at shops that fit your style and budget.
You Need to Bring
Here's a list of things to bring when you shop for a wedding dress:
A trusted friend or relative (keep shopping party to two or three and do not bring your competitive sister).
Appropriate undergarments: underwear, strapless bra or bustier, pantyhose or a slip.
Shoes similar in height to what you plan to wear at your wedding
A notebook to record important dress details and notes on your shopping experience.
The designer and style numbers for the dresses that you like.
Your feelings about and style ideas for each dress.
Details about your shopping experience: were the salespeople helpful? What shop has the best stock for your tastes.
If stores permit, bring a camera to compare dresses and to see how the dress photographs.
Shopping in a Bridal Salon
Tell your salesperson your budget, your ideal cut and neckline options and designer preferences.
Try on dresses that your salesperson brings out and get friends' opinions.
If your salesperson recommends a dress or cut, give it a try. They're the experts.
Take notes on designers, dresses, styles and sizes as you go. You may try on hundreds of dresses. Make sure you have an organized list, detailing every dress you like.
If your salesperson brings dresses that are over your budget, consider working with someone else.
When the dress comes out, and it will, keep your cool. Do not let the salesperson know how excited you are about the dress, or it will kill negotiations.
Once you've found the dress, write down information on that dress and leave the store.
Search for the dress online and call other bridal shops to get prices for it.
If you had a helpful salesperson, call that salon to negotiate a price for the dress.
Note: Skip a day or two of work to visit bridal boutiques during the week. You will avert weekend crowds and get more attention from salespeople.



Step 5: Order or Buy Your Dress

Depending on how you choose to obtain your wedding dress—you might buy it at a bridal salon, scoop it up at a sample sale, or find it online—the ordering process will vary. Whatever method you use, you need to have that dress in your possession and ready for fitting no less than 6 weeks before your wedding.
Tips for ordering your dress from a designer or bridal shop:
Request a contract that includes:
Name of designer, style number, size and measurements.
The date that the dress will be ready by.
Amount you've paid and the amount that you owe. Do not pay more than a 50% deposit and pay it on a credit card in case you have price disputes.
If applicable, what fittings and accessories are included.
Tips for ordering your dress online:
Ordering a dress online is a great way to browse a full selection, avoid the hassle of salespeople when shopping and, often, to save money. However, there are certain things that you need to consider when ordering online.
Have your measurements taken so that you know what size you are.
Visit bridal salons to try on different styles and sizes before you place your order.
When you find a dress online, check the designer's website to make sure that the site is an authorized dealer of that line.
If you've ordered your dress, you will have to wait anywhere from 2 weeks to four months to receive it. If you bought it off the rack, you're ready to move on to the next step: Get Your Fitting.
Note: Purchase your dress with a credit card. This way, you are secure if you lose your receipt and you can contest payment for problematic items or services.



Step 6: Get a Fitting

So, you've invested a good deal of thought and money in your wedding dress. You've waited patiently for it to arrive. Now, it's time to make sure that it fits perfectly.
If you bought your dress at a bridal shop, consider going back to the same place to get your fitting, especially if you have alterations built into your contract.
Otherwise, find a reliable seamstress.
If you're planning to lose weight for your wedding, do so before your fitting.
When you go to your fitting, bring:
Trustworthy friends
Accessories you will wear with the dress
Your contract to keep alterations terms clear
When you try on the dress, The Knot recommends assessing the fit as follows:
Length: The dress should touch the tops of your shoes.
Movement: You should be comfortable lifting your arms and moving.
Problems: The gown shouldn't bunch, wrinkle or pull when you move.
Schedule fittings as necessary:
Schedule a fitting as soon as you can after the dress arrives at the shop.
Bring your maid of honor to a fitting so that she knows all the details about your dress and train.
Pick up your dress.



How to Save Money on a Wedding Dress

Keep costs down by keeping perspective: at the end of the day, the dress will probably be tattered and stained. (Creative Commons photo by Bea)
As you conduct research on wedding dresses, you will find that you can easily procure a beautiful wedding dress for well under a thousand dollars. If your budget still doesn't allow for that, or if you're trying to find a designer dress for lower than retail prices, these tips are for you.
Keep it in perspective. You're only wearing this dress once, so don't waste your time and energy longing for expensive designer dresses.
Focus on the cut, not the lacework or beading. It's the shape of the dress that flatters, not the ornamentation.
If you find a to-die-for style on a dress you can't afford, hire a seamstress to recreate the dress in a cheaper fabric. You can find good tips for hiring a seamstress on lovetoknow.com.
Call local bridal shops and designer boutiques to ask when they have sample sales. These sales usually happen during the wedding off season, between November and April. If sample sales are happening in your area, read these shopping tips before you go.
You can save by shopping online at websites like David's Bridal and House of Brides, where you can to look through a variety of wedding dresses, from simple summer dresses to couture, in an affordable price range.
Because so many brides overspend on their dresses, it should be easy to find many used dresses to choose from. Visit local consignment shops or search online at sites like preownedweddingdresses.com and Craigslist.
Rent a dress: Call local boutiques to ask if they offer this money-saving option.
If a close friend or family member doesn't mind, borrow her wedding dress.
She must be within two dress sizes of you.
Hire a seamstress to alter the dress to suit your personal style.



Resources for How to Buy a Wedding Dress
The Knot: Gown-Buying Checklist
About.com: What Do Wedding Dresses Cost?
Brides.com: Find Your Style Wedding Dresses
Offbeatbride.com: Brides in pants (September 26, 2007)
The Knot: Beach Weddings
About.com: A Winter Wedding
The Knot: Find a Perfect Winter Gown
The Knot: Gown Search: What Do Those Little Dollar Signs Mean?
SoYouWanna.com: SoYouWanna Buy a Wedding Gown
WeddingSolutions.com: Wedding Dress Styles
lovetoknow: How to Buy a Wedding Dress
Brides.com: Wedding Dress Gallery
WeddingChannel.com: Wedding Dresses
The Knot: Wedding Gowns
The Knot: Your Gown: Neckline Glossary
The Knot: Shopping 101: 15 Must-read Gown Shopping Tips >
The Knot: Find the Right Fit for You
The Knot: Accessories and Jewelry
The Knot: getting in shape
Brides.com Accessories Guide
Onewed.com Designer Bridal Shoes
The Knot: Veil Glossary
The Knot: Under-the-Dress Essentials
WeddingChannel.com Jewelry
Frugalbride.com: A Designer's Guide to Acquiring Your Dream Gown
Frugalbride.com: Wedding Gown Shopping Tips
Superweddings.com: Plan a Spectacular but Cheap Wedding
New York Magazine: Sample-Sale Sleuthing (Winter 2007)
lovetoknow.com Wedding Dress Alterations: Interview with a Seamstress
lovetoknow.com: Cheap Wedding Dresses
Brides.com: Custom Fit Tool
Beaucoup Wedding Favors: Wedding Dress Bargain Hunting Tips
Beaucoup Wedding Favors: Fittings and Alterations - Wedding Dresses
Beaucoup Wedding Favors: Your Figure Defined
Beaucoup Wedding Favors: Wedding Dress, Bridal Gown Shopping Etiquette
wikiHow: How to Plan a Wedding in 6 Months
The Knot: city-by-city guides
wikiHow: How to Shop for a Wedding Dress
wikiHow: How to Choose a Wedding Dress
Garden and Hearth: Wedding Planning for the Budget Bride

7 Things No One Tells You About Marriage

Dating 101: Seven Things No One Tells You About Marriage
The surprising, enlightening, and sometimes hard truths married folks all face -- and how they teach us about what love really means.

By Ylonda Gault Caviness for Redbook

Photo: ©iStockphoto.com/TriggerPhoto Updated: Dec 22, 2008

You're smart. You know life is no storybook. But admit it: Somewhere deep in your subconscious lurk romantic visions of Cinderella, or maybe Julia Roberts. The images may be sketchy and a little outdated, but you can still make out the silhouette of the bride and Prince Charming riding off into the sunset.
In real life, sometimes your Disney fairy tale ends up feeling more like a Wes Craven horror flick -- and you're the chick who keeps falling down and screaming for her life. I've been there. Let's face it, marriage is not for the faint of heart. You want to believe your pure love for each other will pull you through. And it does. But it ain't always pretty.
More Dating Articles from Redbook:
Would You Know if Your Man Cheated?
Five Things Super Happy Couples Do Every Day
That may sound grim. But here's a secret: Sometimes it's the least romantic parts of marriage that have the most to teach you about yourself, your partner, and the nature of love. Read on for some simple truths that will unlock the surprising treasures and pleasures in your imperfect, unstorybook, real-life love.1. You will look at the person lying next to you and wonder, Is this it? Forever?
When you get married, you think that as long as you pick the right guy -- your soul mate -- you'll be happy together until death do you part. Then you wake up one day and realize that no matter how great he is, he doesn't make you happy every moment of every day. In fact, some days you might wonder why you were in such a hurry to get married in the first place. You think to yourself, "This is so not what I signed up for."
Actually, it is. You just didn't realize it the day you and your guy were cramming wedding cake into each other's faces, clinking champagne glasses, and dancing the Electric Slide. Back then you had no idea that "for better and for worse" doesn't kick in only when life hands you a tragedy. Your relationship mettle is, in fact, most tested on a daily basis, when the utter sameness of day-in/day-out togetherness can sometimes make you want to run for the hills. That's when the disappointment sneaks in, and maybe even a palpable sense of loneliness and grief. It's not him. It's just you, letting go of that sugarcoated fantasy of marriage that danced in your eyes the day you and your beloved posed in all those soft-focus wedding photos. You're learning that marriage isn't a destination; it's a journey filled with equal parts excitement and tedium.
Waking up from a good dream to face the harsh morning daylight may not seem like a reason to celebrate. But trust me, it is. Because once you let go of all the hokey stories of eternal bliss, you find that the reality of marriage is far richer and more rewarding than you ever could have guessed. Hard, yes. Frustrating, yes. But full of its own powerful, quiet enchantments just the same, and that's better than any fairy tale.2. You'll work harder than you ever imagined.
Early on, when people say, "Marriage takes work," you assume "work" means being patient when he forgets to put down the toilet seat. In your naivete, you think that you will struggle to accommodate some annoying habit, like persistent knuckle cracking or flatulence.
If only it were that easy. Human beings, you may have noticed, are not simple creatures. Your man has mysterious, unplumbed depths -- and from where he sits, you're pretty complicated, too. You have to learn each other the same way that you once learned earth science or world geography. And getting married doesn't mean you're done -- it just means you've advanced to graduate-level studies. That's because every time you think you've mastered the material, he'll change a bit. And so will you. As two people grow and evolve, the real work of marriage is finding a way to relate to and nurture each other in the process.
"It's like losing weight," says Andrea Harden, 45, of Buffalo, NY. "You want it to be a one-time deal. You lost it, now just live. But then you learn it's a lifestyle. That's marriage. The effort is a forever thing." So don't be too hard on yourself -- or him -- on those days when you feel like you're struggling through remedial math.3. You will sometimes go to bed mad (and maybe even wake up madder).
Whoever decided to tell newlyweds "Never go to bed angry" doesn't know what it's like inside a bedroom where tears and accusations fly as one spouse talks the other into a woozy stupor until night meets the dawn. If this scenario sounds familiar, I've got three words for you: Sleep on it.
You need to calm down. You need to gain perspective. You need to just give it a rest. I've found that an argument of any quality, like a fine wine, needs to breathe. A break in the action will help you figure out whether you're angry, hurt, or both, and then pinpoint the exact source. Maybe the fight that seemed to erupt over the overflowing garbage can is really about feeling underappreciated. Could be you're both stressed out at work and just needed to unload on someone. Taking a break will help you see that, and let go. Or maybe you really do have a legitimate disagreement to work out. Without a time-out, sometimes a perfectly good argument can turn into an endless round of silly back-and-forth, rehashing old and irrelevant transgressions as you get more and more wound up.
Even when you do manage to stay focused and on topic, there are some fights that stubbornly refuse to die by bedtime. And if you stifle your real feelings just to meet some arbitrary deadline, your marriage will surely be the worse for it. "This was a huge lesson for me," says Andrea. "As women we've been trained to make nice. But the whole kiss-and-make-up thing just to keep the peace was eating me up inside. I'd let things build up inside me until I just exploded. Now I wait a while to get hold of myself -- let the emotions settle a bit -- and state my position. Even if that means reopening the fight the next day."4. Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together.
I can be a bit of a know-it-all. There, I said it. It's really not my intention to be hurtful or brash with people I love. It's just that a lifetime of experience has taught me that in most areas, at most times, I am right about most things. What shocked me several years into my marriage, though, was the realization that the more "right" I was, the more discontented my husband and I were as a couple. See, oddly enough, throughout his life Genoveso has been under the misguided impression that he's right most of the time (go figure!). So we'd lock horns -- often. That is, until I learned a few things.
Namely, that when it comes to certain disagreements, there is no right or wrong -- there is simply your way of looking at things and your husband's. "I used to be very black-and-white earlier in our marriage," says Lindy Vincent, 38, who lives in Minneapolis. "Now I see that I'm not all right and my husband is not all wrong. There's more gray in life than I thought, and that's taught me patience and the value of compromise."5. A great marriage doesn't mean no conflict; it simply means a couple keeps trying to get it right.
Maybe you think that because of my newfound wisdom, Genoveso and I never fight anymore. Ha! As important as it is to strike a balance, it's also important to have a big, fat fight every now and then. Because when you fight, you don't just raise your voices; you raise real -- sometimes buried -- issues that challenge you to come to a clearer understanding of you, your man, and your relationship. I wouldn't give up our fights for anything in the world, because I know in the end they won't break us; they'll only make us stronger.6. You'll realize that you can only change yourself.
Ever seen the '80s sci-fi cult classic "Making Mr. Right?" When the stylish heroine, played by Ann Magnuson, is hired to teach a robot how to act like a human, she seizes the chance to create a perfect guy. A hotshot commercial whiz, she uses her marketing prowess to shape John Malkovich's android character into her personal version of the ideal man -- sensitive, eager to please, and willing to listen.
There is a bit of that makeover fantasy in all of us -- something that makes us believe we can change the person we love, make him just a little bit closer to perfect. We may use support and empathy or shouts and ultimatums, but with dogged conviction we take on this huge responsibility, convinced we're doing the right thing.
Whatever our motives, the effort is exhausting. Transforming a full-grown man -- stripping him of decades-old habits, beliefs, and idiosyncrasies -- is truly an impossible task. And you will come to realize, sooner than later if you're lucky, that it is far easier to change the way you respond to him.7. As you face your fears and insecurities, you will find out what you're really made of.
There were clues when Genoveso and I were dating, especially with the trust thing. Early on, I was supersuspicious of him. He used to say things like, "I'll call you at 8." Then, just to try to trip me up, he'd call at 8. I knew he was up to something, I just couldn't figure out what. The same kinds of experiences followed after the wedding. Except occasionally he would actually mess up. And I had no sense of scale when it came to rating his offenses; everything was a major violation. Whether he teased me about a new haircut or came home late, I seethed for days and even let thoughts of divorce creep into my head. I figured, if he loved me -- really and truly -- this stuff wouldn't happen.
I'd like to be able to say that this irrational behavior lasted only a few months and I eventually worked it out. Kind of, sort of, is closer to the truth. After years of looking deeply into my soul and talking to good friends and the best sister a girl could ever have, I've come to recognize certain things about myself. Not to get all Dr. Phil about it, but I've had to examine my history with an emotionally distant dad and a strong-willed mom and face up to all the ways, both good and bad, that those relationships have affected how I approach my marriage.
That's the strange beauty of marriage: It's full of hard times and hard lessons that no one can ever prepare you for. But in the end, those are the things that give richness to your life together -- and make your love even deeper and stronger than when it began.Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.

Feeling Like A Runaway Bride?

FEELING LIKE A RUNAWAY BRIDE?

How to Reduce Stress While Preparing for Your Big DayBy Christopher Rollings & Marion Russo, PhD


Getting married is a major life step and a wonderful time in your life. Planning your wedding is fun, exciting, time-consuming, and stressful. Of course you want your wedding day to be memorable and meaningful. Wanting your wedding day to be special is fine. But expecting or demanding your wedding to be perfect will create a lot of stress and tension for everyone involved. Stress and anxiety are created by holding onto unrealistic expectations about how you think things should be as opposed to how they really can be. Some stress and anxiety is normal and healthy. This is a big event and there is so much involved. The key is to learn how to manage the stress, prioritize, and keep focused on what really matters.Here are positive ways you can reduce the stress and enjoy yourself more:
Plan thoroughly.
Talk with recently married friends about their wedding planning experiences.
Go to reputable websites for ideas and to learn from other brides. Do your research.
Enlist as much reliable help as possible. Don't try to control everything.
Delegate. Involve family and friends in your planning and in getting things done.
Have a realistic budget and stick to it. Worries about rising costs and growing guest lists can be minimized when you choose to have the wedding you can afford.
Accept that things don't always turn out the way you envision them. You can't make everything go perfectly. People make mistakes.
But then again isn't that sort of like life? Despite your best intentions, things don't always go according to plan. When you accept that you can't control everything, you might find some beautiful, unexpected surprises along the way. It's natural to worry and be concerned that everything looks great and everyone has a great time at your wedding. Just don't sacrifice form for content. Don't compromise substance for appearances. Family and friends can disappoint you. Goods and services from your wedding vendors can fail to meet your expectations. Bear in mind that people, as a general rule, are doing the best they can do at any given moment in time. Clearly communicate your realistic expectations and needs to others and accept that, despite the best intentions, things will sometimes fall short. So prioritize, communicate, spend wisely and make your wedding day as beautiful as possible. Stay focused on what really matters the most. You are marrying the person you love. It's the "why" you are celebrating that's more important than the "what" is happening that day. Remain focused on what really matters. Do the best you can do. Let the rest go and have fun.